First things first. I gotta do some begging. I've gotta pay the monthly fee to the nice people at TypePad but there's a small issue; I'm flat broke. Flipping pancakes doesn't pay that much. I've got a couple of days grace and then my site is gonna go bye bye unless I round up some cash. I don't need that much, a dollar a person would suffice. I promise to up the frequency of the updates and I'll even finish off my appendectomy story. To donate via PayPal, click here. Any donations are greatly appreciated.
Note: Donation link is now working correctly.
Ok, so enough with the panhandling. School is going well. On Friday, we did our final test for the first course (Skills I). The courses are broken up into three week sections and the first one covered the basics, such as stocks, sauces and knife technique. Next is sanitation and computers. I tested out of the computer class so I don't have to take it, but I still have to take sanitation (insert joke about my showering habits here). Basically this means I learn about what happens to hollandaise sauce when it's been sitting for too long at my favorite diner. I'm learning alot of stuff about my favorite foods and how disgusting they really are. Because of this, my diet has changed considerably in the last few weeks and I'm noticing a difference in my health, not to mention I'm much more svelte now. Man boobies be gone!
So some of the people in my class aren't real swift and I get asked some pretty strange questions from time to time. One of the girls in my class has lead a particularly sheltered life (Catholic upbringing, and not the saucy, promiscuous type either. Proper Catholic) and at the ripe old age of 22, she's never had a drink, partaken of illegal drugs or enjoyed the carnal side of things. She was a nutrition major at Oklahoma U, which I find rather amusing because now she's attending a school where the main ingredient in everything is butter. She's uneducated in the ways of the world and sometimes she comes out with gems like the following. We were studying sauces in class and the one we were concentrating on that day was Beurre Blanc - white butter sauce, which calls for some 'dry white wine'.
Catholic Girl is reading the recipe
CG: So there's dry white wine in this?
Me: Yep.
CG: So dry white wine? Is that like, powdered or something?
Me: Blank stare.
CG: What?
Me: Glance at my knife roll to see if I can find my boning knife to jam in my temple.
CG: So is it, or isn't it?
I spent the next few minutes explaining to CG the differences between various wines and how much I like to drink all of them. Needless to say, she was rather embarrassed after this interchange. She's not an adventurous eater either and I relish the days that we're handed oysters so I can suck down four at a time and watch her dry heave as I chew on them. Speaking of oysters and the mentality of my classmates, we were having dinner one night, and one of the dishes was this huge platter of oysters. No one seemed to want any so I grabbed a half dozen and started eating. One of the younger, cocky guys was very disgusted with the idea of eating oysters and had to let everyone else know how he felt. He kept babbling about how gross these things were until I mentioned that if you eat enough of them, you can 'fuck like crazy'. Before the word, 'crazy' was out of my mouth, he had the platter in one arm and was using the other to shovel oyster after oyster into his gaping maw.
Alright. I've had enough writing for one night. I'm halfway through a second bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and that fine line between drunk enough to write and too drunk to write has been passed. It's kinda like when you're playing pool drunk. First game sucks, second and third game you're unstoppable. Fourth game and it's, 'I hit the white ball with this stick?'. I'm gonna finish the rest of this bottle and watch the qualifying round from this weekends F1 race at Silverstone.




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